Fix Your Life

Fix Your Life

One of my favorite shows on television right now is OWN’s Fix Your Life featuring Iyanla Vanzant. This show focuses on people that have issues that affect them moving forward in their lives or obstructing their peace. Ms. Vanzant provides insight on how to overcome the issues the people are facing.  At the beginning of each episode, there is an introduction where Ms. Vanzant speaks about having to do the work to put her broken life back together again.  This statement about having to do the “work” is a powerful statement because to fix anything; someone has to work.  There is no getting around taking the necessary steps to bring organization to the disorganization of life. And more often than not, we know how to make our situations better; however, we just avoid the process because of difficulties we perceive we will encounter.

Maybe you must forgive someone for past discretions. Take the necessary steps to do this.  Often forgiveness has little to do with the person you are trying to forgive but everything to do with you internally. So, if forgiveness is the obstacle that is keeping you from fixing your life, then forgive.  I am not saying that this is easy, in fact, it will be difficult.  However, to free yourself, you must forgive others.  Make up in your mind that you have already forgiven the person who has wronged you. Then work toward forgiving that person daily. Follow these steps until you can see the person and are no longer offended by their past actions.

Maybe to fix your life, you need to gain additional knowledge to pursue your goals.  If this is the case, then research various educational options.  Take an online course. Find someone that is already doing what you desire to do and ask them what steps did they take to get there.  Furthermore, request that the person become your mentor so that you will have the assistance needed to navigate unchartered waters.

Or just maybe, you have some sort of addiction, and you need to tackle this so that you can fix your life.  My advice, my friend, is not to try to do it alone.  Develop a support group that enlists friends, family, and professionals that can provide you the resources and supports you need to become addiction free. Make sure you acknowledge small steps because those steps can have a significant impact.  Remember, overcoming addiction is not easy but so worth it!

Whatever it takes to fix your life; you must do the work. The benefits outweigh the process. A wise person once said, “Anything worth having is worth working for.” Your goals, dreams, and peace of mind are worth having. Therefore, do the work! Do what it takes to put the damaged areas of your life back together. I know you can do it and when you do, don’t forget to share your story. Your words may help someone else take the steps they need to fix their life.

Plant Your Feet and PUSH

Plant Your Feet and PUSH

I serve as the caregiver for my mother who suffered a stroke a few years ago.  As a result of this illness, her left side remains weak.  One morning, as we were preparing for our day, she called me into her bedroom.  As I entered her room, I find her sitting on the floor. She had slid from the edge of her bed onto the floor and was unable to get up.  We were the only ones in the house, so I did not have any help in getting her off the floor.

After several unsuccessful attempts, I realized that she, indeed, had the strength to get herself off the floor. So instead of me trying to become a powerlifter, I became her coach.  I placed a chair on her right side, and I was on her left side.  I told her to “Plant your feet and PUSH! Push with everything you got in you!” Her first attempt was unsuccessful, however, when at first you don’t succeed, try again.  During her second attempt, she pushed herself up so high that she was higher than the seat of the chair. Therefore, all I had to do was pull the chair under her, so that she could sit down.

Sometimes we don’t realize that we have everything within us that we need to do those things that we desire to do.  We sit back and talk ourselves out of our visions, hopes, and dreams. STOP it! Some of us try, but after several unsuccessful attempts, we give up.  After my mother’s ordeal was over, she was a little out of breath, but I could see on her face, the personal accomplishment she felt.  When you are exhausted from several attempts, give it another try. You can do it; you have everything in you that you need to succeed.

Therefore, PLANT YOUR FEET AND PUSH! Push with everything you have in you! Push out the business ventures, the new investments, the promotions…and remember to share your successes with me because I know you will be able to do anything that you set your mind to do.

Resolve to Live

Resolve to Live

As many of you are making your resolutions for the year, decide each day to live your life to the fullest.  Set goals that will allow you to capture the moments, to walk in your truth, and to be better than you were the day before.  You owe it to yourself to be the best you possible.

When my son was in high school, he participated on the track team.  During the season, he would spend a few hours each day practicing and conditioning for track meets.  This time was helping him to hone his skills by learning correct techniques, proper form, and regulations for competition.  However, these sessions taught him the importance developing himself.  I would often ask about how the practices were going, and he would reply that they were good.  But some days, he would state, “I set a PR today.” Initially, when I heard him say it, I questioned the meaning of PR.  He told me that PR stood for a personal record.  In preparing for competition, his coaches and trainers taught him that the goal was not to win every race. The goal was to develop himself to do his personal best.

I share this lesson with you today because the goal is not for you to win every competition. Your goal to do your best daily.  Stop looking at the accomplishments of others and making comparisons to where you are or are not.  Look within and resolve to do your best daily to set your personal records.  Learn the things that you need to hone your skills. Take small steps daily to get you to where you would like to be. Remember, the objective is not about you competing with anyone but about determining to be better than you were the day before.  You will have those days when you set personal records, when you do, remember to give yourself a pat on your back. You will also have those days when you don’t do as well, shake it off and try a little harder.  Identify your mistakes, learn from them and keep it moving.

So my thought to you today is let’s go into this new year, striving to do your personal best daily. Run the race at your pace, establishing milestones that will allow you to push harder and farther than the day before. Remember to share your accomplishments, so that we can celebrate with you. No matter what you do, resolve to live and be the best you possible.

Let’s Start Again

Let’s Start Again

I started this blog with much anticipation and excitement.  I was going to change the world through my words, become an instant success, and publish my writings. We will not comment on how lofty those goals were. Honestly, when I think about them, I laugh, but these were my actual goals and dreams. Then life happened, and I had to take a break from blogging as I dealt with these issues of life.

With each new experience encountered, I was provided with a new insight to share with you.  But to be transparent, while I was going through these things, ideas to share with you was farthest from my mind.  However, looking back over this season has allowed me to glean nuggets that may empower someone else. I will be sharing tidbits of some of these experiences in my upcoming post.  By doing so, it is my hope that by me going through, I can help someone to else to get through the issues of life that we all encounter.

I am still excited about where this blogging journey will take me; however, my goals are not so lofty. In fact, I want to slow down and enjoy the ride, wherever that ride takes me.  As too with life, I urge you to step into each moment, fully awake, without so many expectations and enjoy the experience. Take time to remember the small details about these events because those details make the memories so much richer.

I am truly blessed by those in my life.  As we approach this holiday season, enjoy those around you, love them and allow them to love you.  There is nothing greater than love:

John 3:16 states that, “God so love the world that He gave…”

Love allows us to give! So, I am back to give you my insight and I would like for you to feel free to share your experiences as well.  Together, we can change the world, one blog post at a time.

Five Ways to Encourage Yourself

Woman Looking in Mirror

Samuel 30:6 states, “And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.” When everyone around you is against you, sometimes you have to gird up your loins and support yourself.

In this passage of scripture, the men were angry at David because while they were out at war their camp was raid and their wives, sons, and daughters were taken captive. So naturally David was to blame because he was their leader.  Everyone was against him, they even spoke of killing him.  So in the midst of all of this, David encouraged himself in the Lord.  Therefore, this is an excellent lesson to take from David.  When things get rough, as they often will, you have to encourage yourself.

There are many ways to encourage yourself but I have taken the liberty to mention five below:

1. Pray – Prayer is a great way to encourage yourself because it allows you to release everything that is bothering you.  Take a moment to just go before God in prayer, share with Him all that is bothering you.  Release all your feelings and emotions about the situation to Him.

2. Meditate – Meditation, or the art of being still, does wonder for encouraging yourself because unlike praying, you are taking the time to listen to God, whether it be through the things that are happening around you or that still small voice.  Where in prayer you are talking to God, it is through meditation that He responds.  Take a few minutes to get still and quiet.  Once you began to do this, you will see the many benefits of meditation. You will discover that the answers were inside of you all along.

3. Charity – Share your time, talents, and/or skills with someone or something that can not pay you for your service.  Volunteer at your local food pantry, homeless shelter, hospital, or etc. While giving of your time and talents, you often come into contact with others that share stories far worse than your own.  This helps you to put things into perspective, and it also allows you to be thankful for the things that you do have.  You often leave feeling better than when you started.

4. Dance – Play your favorite song and just dance like no one is watching.  Release all the pain and anxiety about your situation with every move you make. Movement is an excellent way to alleviate tension from stress.  It also allows you not to take yourself or your situation so serious.  When you take a moment to dance, you take your mind off of your problems, and free yourself to move past your situation or circumstance.

5. Comedy – Laughter is great medicine.  Pull up a funny video on YouTube, watch your favorite sitcom, read a funny story, etc. If you have something that makes you laugh, just take a moment to enjoy it.  Oftentimes, comedies also have a hidden message so you never know, while taking a moment to laugh, you may even discover a solution to your problems.

When the world around you turns its back on you, you have to lift yourself out of the pit. When the people you have entrusted in turn their backs on you, utilized one or more of the ways listed above to encourage yourself.  Once you are inspired, you will find that you now have the strength to handle your situation.

Road Blocks

On your journey to your destiny, you will sometimes have to make difficult decisions. There will be people and things that are near and dear to your heart that will not be able to follow you on your journey and you will have to make tough decisions.  Do I stop pursuing the things that I was place here to do, the things that I have a heart for? Or do I put those things on hold to satisfy those who have been place in my life for this season?  There are no clear cut answers to these questions because they come with a bunch of “but what ifs.” These questions must be answered on a case by case basis.

Your decisions may not make others involved happy, however, when you have a peace about it and are able to stand with the decision you’re making then you will know that it is the right decision for you. Others may not understand why you are leaving that “good man” or that “good job” but you know that your dreams and goals for your life are more important than anything.  And if those things are truly for you, they will be there.

Road blocks may come, however, how you handle them will be totally up to you.  There is no formula for best decision-making.  So as you encounter those difficult situations, keep your head up, and do what is best for you and your future.

My Dream Reader

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This blog is designed for the reader who has a burning inside of them to accomplish, something that they really want to do but have always been told that they could not for whatever the reason.  My dream reader is searching for a word that propels them to defy the odds and encourage them that they can do anything that the put their minds to. There are enough things in the world that says no, you’re not small enough or pretty enough or tall enough or pleasant enough, and so on.  At Empowered to WIN, here is where you can come and get that yes, yes you are more than enough to do those things you desire to.

Go be that fashion designer, college professor, doctor, lawyer, preacher or teacher. Dream big, the bigger the better, so when it happens all the naysayers will be able to see and know that it was in you all the time. You are that person that I writing to , to let you know that you do not need any one’s permission to live out your dream.  You can have your best life right now, all you have to do is step out on faith and believe.  I am looking for you, because I want to be right there with you when you accomplish it all.  So please feel free to post that goal that you would like to see manifest in my comments below. Boldly profess what it is that you want to do!