A U-Turn May Be Necessary

A U-Turn May Be Necessary

Today, I noticed an unusual number of people on the roadway making U-turns. It was enough for me to reflect on the need for a U-turn. Often the person making the U-turn has passed their intentional location, saw someone they knew and wanted to talk to them and or they just needed to change their direction.  In thinking about the purpose of a U-turn, they may be necessary on the path of life. Sometimes, we are just going in the wrong direction and need to change our course. It is at this moment that you realize that the direction in which you are traveling is not the one that you would like to continue. Therefore, it is ok to change the direction that you are traveling.

I work with college students, and often these students select a major and then decide halfway through their degree matriculation that they no longer want or desire to engage in the course of study they are currently pursuing. Thus, I often must share words of wisdom to assist in the decision-making process. It is important that these students understand that they should follow their heart. However, there are some things they need to consider before making that commitment to change their major. They must count the cost of the decision they are making. What are the requirements of the new major? How much additional time and tuition will be necessary for the switch? Is the major they are switching to worth the financial investment they will make? Is a degree even required to do what it is that they would like to do? If the costs of making the U-turn are too high, I advise them to remain on the course for now and provide an alternate route.  However, if the requirements are within the scope of that can transition, and not burdened by this decision, then my suggestion is to make a U-turn around and travel in a different direction. If the sum of the possibilities is greater than that in which you are leaving, then make a U-turn.  Let me be clear, when I say sum, I am not necessarily referring to a monetary value but about fulfilling your life’s purpose, the pursuit of your happiness.

You cannot put a price tag on your happiness.  However, you do not want to be burdened by the cost either. Your desire is to be free to enjoy the fruits of your labor.  So, you may have to take an unconventional path to get to where you were trying to go.  For instance, instead of school to gain skills in an area, you may choose to shadow others that are doing what you desire to do.  In gaining experience, you will sometimes have to offer your services for free. (Yes, I said free but consider the number of skills you will gain by getting the necessary practice.) Rendering your services for free may be your starting point, but it is not where you will end.  If you find yourself traveling in the wrong direction, do not keep going, turn around at the nearest exit.  Take a moment to adjust and decide on where you need to go to accomplish your dreams.  Remember, I am on the journey with you, so follow your heart and live your dreams.

Rise Above the Heat

Rise Above the Heat

Recently, during a flight for business, the plane became very cold. I was freezing. I wore a shirt and a sweater. However, if able to, I would have put on heavier clothing and a blanket. Once we landed at the destination, many people began turning on the overhead fans to keep cool because the changes in the temperature had become noticeable. Whereas, while in the air, we were freezing, once we were on the ground it was over 80 degrees.  The flight crew apologized and immediately turned the air conditioning up until we could depart from the plane.

The whole experience allowed me to understand something about life; we must learn to rise above the heat. During the flight, the temperature had not changed on the ground; we were just flying above the heat. The altitude in which we were traveling, that elevated space, was a place of coolness.

In dealing with the pressures of life, we must rise above our situations and our circumstances and get to a place of peace. A place that will allow us to view the situation from a different perspective that will allow us to see the full scope of what is going on. This different outlook will allow us the ability to view the situation from a place, which may help us to determine exactly how we should maneuver through the challenges we are facing. A different perspective often allows us to solve whatever problem that we are encountering. When we are in the situation, we are only able to see what is around us, but once elevated we can see the bigger picture and identify what is going on.  Once we rise above the heat and get to a place of elevation, we have a vantage point that will strengthen our insight.

So, I encourage you to rise above the heat and pressure of your current situation to move to a place of elevation to be able to deal with the situation and not be overtaken by the situation. I want you to walk into your best life. Move fervently to that place focusing not on the problem but on the solutions necessary to change your situation. It may not be easy, but it is well worth it and necessary for you to grow.  You are on your way to living your best life, right now. Go higher so that you can move forward.

Fix Your Life

Fix Your Life

One of my favorite shows on television right now is OWN’s Fix Your Life featuring Iyanla Vanzant. This show focuses on people that have issues that affect them moving forward in their lives or obstructing their peace. Ms. Vanzant provides insight on how to overcome the issues the people are facing.  At the beginning of each episode, there is an introduction where Ms. Vanzant speaks about having to do the work to put her broken life back together again.  This statement about having to do the “work” is a powerful statement because to fix anything; someone has to work.  There is no getting around taking the necessary steps to bring organization to the disorganization of life. And more often than not, we know how to make our situations better; however, we just avoid the process because of difficulties we perceive we will encounter.

Maybe you must forgive someone for past discretions. Take the necessary steps to do this.  Often forgiveness has little to do with the person you are trying to forgive but everything to do with you internally. So, if forgiveness is the obstacle that is keeping you from fixing your life, then forgive.  I am not saying that this is easy, in fact, it will be difficult.  However, to free yourself, you must forgive others.  Make up in your mind that you have already forgiven the person who has wronged you. Then work toward forgiving that person daily. Follow these steps until you can see the person and are no longer offended by their past actions.

Maybe to fix your life, you need to gain additional knowledge to pursue your goals.  If this is the case, then research various educational options.  Take an online course. Find someone that is already doing what you desire to do and ask them what steps did they take to get there.  Furthermore, request that the person become your mentor so that you will have the assistance needed to navigate unchartered waters.

Or just maybe, you have some sort of addiction, and you need to tackle this so that you can fix your life.  My advice, my friend, is not to try to do it alone.  Develop a support group that enlists friends, family, and professionals that can provide you the resources and supports you need to become addiction free. Make sure you acknowledge small steps because those steps can have a significant impact.  Remember, overcoming addiction is not easy but so worth it!

Whatever it takes to fix your life; you must do the work. The benefits outweigh the process. A wise person once said, “Anything worth having is worth working for.” Your goals, dreams, and peace of mind are worth having. Therefore, do the work! Do what it takes to put the damaged areas of your life back together. I know you can do it and when you do, don’t forget to share your story. Your words may help someone else take the steps they need to fix their life.

Plant Your Feet and PUSH

Plant Your Feet and PUSH

I serve as the caregiver for my mother who suffered a stroke a few years ago.  As a result of this illness, her left side remains weak.  One morning, as we were preparing for our day, she called me into her bedroom.  As I entered her room, I find her sitting on the floor. She had slid from the edge of her bed onto the floor and was unable to get up.  We were the only ones in the house, so I did not have any help in getting her off the floor.

After several unsuccessful attempts, I realized that she, indeed, had the strength to get herself off the floor. So instead of me trying to become a powerlifter, I became her coach.  I placed a chair on her right side, and I was on her left side.  I told her to “Plant your feet and PUSH! Push with everything you got in you!” Her first attempt was unsuccessful, however, when at first you don’t succeed, try again.  During her second attempt, she pushed herself up so high that she was higher than the seat of the chair. Therefore, all I had to do was pull the chair under her, so that she could sit down.

Sometimes we don’t realize that we have everything within us that we need to do those things that we desire to do.  We sit back and talk ourselves out of our visions, hopes, and dreams. STOP it! Some of us try, but after several unsuccessful attempts, we give up.  After my mother’s ordeal was over, she was a little out of breath, but I could see on her face, the personal accomplishment she felt.  When you are exhausted from several attempts, give it another try. You can do it; you have everything in you that you need to succeed.

Therefore, PLANT YOUR FEET AND PUSH! Push with everything you have in you! Push out the business ventures, the new investments, the promotions…and remember to share your successes with me because I know you will be able to do anything that you set your mind to do.

Resolve to Live

Resolve to Live

As many of you are making your resolutions for the year, decide each day to live your life to the fullest.  Set goals that will allow you to capture the moments, to walk in your truth, and to be better than you were the day before.  You owe it to yourself to be the best you possible.

When my son was in high school, he participated on the track team.  During the season, he would spend a few hours each day practicing and conditioning for track meets.  This time was helping him to hone his skills by learning correct techniques, proper form, and regulations for competition.  However, these sessions taught him the importance developing himself.  I would often ask about how the practices were going, and he would reply that they were good.  But some days, he would state, “I set a PR today.” Initially, when I heard him say it, I questioned the meaning of PR.  He told me that PR stood for a personal record.  In preparing for competition, his coaches and trainers taught him that the goal was not to win every race. The goal was to develop himself to do his personal best.

I share this lesson with you today because the goal is not for you to win every competition. Your goal to do your best daily.  Stop looking at the accomplishments of others and making comparisons to where you are or are not.  Look within and resolve to do your best daily to set your personal records.  Learn the things that you need to hone your skills. Take small steps daily to get you to where you would like to be. Remember, the objective is not about you competing with anyone but about determining to be better than you were the day before.  You will have those days when you set personal records, when you do, remember to give yourself a pat on your back. You will also have those days when you don’t do as well, shake it off and try a little harder.  Identify your mistakes, learn from them and keep it moving.

So my thought to you today is let’s go into this new year, striving to do your personal best daily. Run the race at your pace, establishing milestones that will allow you to push harder and farther than the day before. Remember to share your accomplishments, so that we can celebrate with you. No matter what you do, resolve to live and be the best you possible.

Let’s Start Again

Let’s Start Again

I started this blog with much anticipation and excitement.  I was going to change the world through my words, become an instant success, and publish my writings. We will not comment on how lofty those goals were. Honestly, when I think about them, I laugh, but these were my actual goals and dreams. Then life happened, and I had to take a break from blogging as I dealt with these issues of life.

With each new experience encountered, I was provided with a new insight to share with you.  But to be transparent, while I was going through these things, ideas to share with you was farthest from my mind.  However, looking back over this season has allowed me to glean nuggets that may empower someone else. I will be sharing tidbits of some of these experiences in my upcoming post.  By doing so, it is my hope that by me going through, I can help someone to else to get through the issues of life that we all encounter.

I am still excited about where this blogging journey will take me; however, my goals are not so lofty. In fact, I want to slow down and enjoy the ride, wherever that ride takes me.  As too with life, I urge you to step into each moment, fully awake, without so many expectations and enjoy the experience. Take time to remember the small details about these events because those details make the memories so much richer.

I am truly blessed by those in my life.  As we approach this holiday season, enjoy those around you, love them and allow them to love you.  There is nothing greater than love:

John 3:16 states that, “God so love the world that He gave…”

Love allows us to give! So, I am back to give you my insight and I would like for you to feel free to share your experiences as well.  Together, we can change the world, one blog post at a time.

Five Ways to Encourage Yourself

Woman Looking in Mirror

Samuel 30:6 states, “And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.” When everyone around you is against you, sometimes you have to gird up your loins and support yourself.

In this passage of scripture, the men were angry at David because while they were out at war their camp was raid and their wives, sons, and daughters were taken captive. So naturally David was to blame because he was their leader.  Everyone was against him, they even spoke of killing him.  So in the midst of all of this, David encouraged himself in the Lord.  Therefore, this is an excellent lesson to take from David.  When things get rough, as they often will, you have to encourage yourself.

There are many ways to encourage yourself but I have taken the liberty to mention five below:

1. Pray – Prayer is a great way to encourage yourself because it allows you to release everything that is bothering you.  Take a moment to just go before God in prayer, share with Him all that is bothering you.  Release all your feelings and emotions about the situation to Him.

2. Meditate – Meditation, or the art of being still, does wonder for encouraging yourself because unlike praying, you are taking the time to listen to God, whether it be through the things that are happening around you or that still small voice.  Where in prayer you are talking to God, it is through meditation that He responds.  Take a few minutes to get still and quiet.  Once you began to do this, you will see the many benefits of meditation. You will discover that the answers were inside of you all along.

3. Charity – Share your time, talents, and/or skills with someone or something that can not pay you for your service.  Volunteer at your local food pantry, homeless shelter, hospital, or etc. While giving of your time and talents, you often come into contact with others that share stories far worse than your own.  This helps you to put things into perspective, and it also allows you to be thankful for the things that you do have.  You often leave feeling better than when you started.

4. Dance – Play your favorite song and just dance like no one is watching.  Release all the pain and anxiety about your situation with every move you make. Movement is an excellent way to alleviate tension from stress.  It also allows you not to take yourself or your situation so serious.  When you take a moment to dance, you take your mind off of your problems, and free yourself to move past your situation or circumstance.

5. Comedy – Laughter is great medicine.  Pull up a funny video on YouTube, watch your favorite sitcom, read a funny story, etc. If you have something that makes you laugh, just take a moment to enjoy it.  Oftentimes, comedies also have a hidden message so you never know, while taking a moment to laugh, you may even discover a solution to your problems.

When the world around you turns its back on you, you have to lift yourself out of the pit. When the people you have entrusted in turn their backs on you, utilized one or more of the ways listed above to encourage yourself.  Once you are inspired, you will find that you now have the strength to handle your situation.